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Daily Forgiveness

Daily Forgiveness

They say “forgive and forget,” but you can’t really ever forget. You never forget. You never forget the pain when people hurt you. It stays with you like a scar, a tattoo upon your heart.

But you have to forgive.

You need to forget. You long to forget so you can move past the pain and into a future without it, free from the pain. Unfortunately, this is one of those times in life when you have to be realistic about what is and is not possible. You can not forget your past. You cannot remove pain entirely from your life. You cannot eliminate the perpetrators of your pain from this earth–or even just from your life.

However, you can forgive. You can choose to not hold a grudge, to not seek revenge. And you can choose to love unconditionally. The problem with those choices is that it’s not a “one and done’ kind of thing where you forgive and release your feelings, choosing to love your enemy going forward, and you get all warm and fuzzy and never look back, and never get upset about it again. At least I have never experience that–if you have found a way to do it, I need to come and learn your ways!

Without the magic of “forgetting,” our only hope is endurance and persistence. That choice, the choice to forgive and overlook (not forget or condone) wrongdoings–to choose to view people from God’s perspective–that choice is a daily choice. Every. Single. Day.

You have to forgive.

Every.

Single.

Day.

Because the people who hurt you will never just magically disappear. Your life will never be completely free from pain. In order to free yourself from the bondage of forgiveness, headed down a trail of bitterness towards a lifetime of anger and resentment–you’ll have to commit to forgive those who hurt you. Every Single Day.

So, take the first step. Choose forgiveness today. But keep things in perspective because you probably won’t feel much different tomorrow. Forgiveness isn’t a single action, it’s a lifestyle. Forgiveness requires you to choose love. Every. Single. Day.

How do you choose to love someone you don’t feel like loving? You pray. Jesus instructed us specifically to pray for those who hurt us. Do you know why? I’m sure they probably need prayer since God will bring the vengeance for their evil actions against us. But I don’t think that is why Jesus instructed us to pray. I believe Jesus was giving us the key to forgiveness, showing us how He was able to forgive while he was a man. So if you don’t feel like praying for the person who hurt you, be even more encouraged to do so. Because those prayers will soften your heart and allow you to truly forgive.

Your Choice

Your Choice

God has been dealing with me a lot lately about praying for those who persecute me. One thing is for sure: I don’t want to. Honestly, I’d rather stew in anger and hope they rot in hell for making my life a living hell. That is not the Christian way, and definitely not what Jesus would do. It seems fair in my rational earthly mind. But life is not about being fair, it’s about doing what is right. God loves all of his children, and in order to become like God, we have to learn to do the same. The quickest way to melt the cold hard feelings of resentment and bitterness is to love the object of our pain by gaining new perspective. Anyone hurting you, is hurting themselves and in desperate need of love. Instead of heaping more anger and pain, we have to learn to forgive and pray that they would find their own peace and security so they can love their self, so they can love others.

An open letter to everyone who has hurt me:

Everyone gets to make their own choices in life. I apologize on behalf of the people in your past who taught you otherwise. The people who attempted to control you and make your choices for you. They were wrong in stealing what was yours. They were wrong in teaching you to repeat that behavior in an attempt to validate yourself by controlling others. What you have lived through and the pain you have endured is not right and it is not fair. However, your past pain does not give you the right to continue the cycle by inflicting the same pain onto others.

Speaking life and hope or speaking death and destruction into the lives of others is your choice. Forgiveness or bitterness is your choice. Praying for those who persecute or attempting to manipulated and control others is your choice. Allowing grace or pursuing revenge is your choice.

You cannot use what others have done to you as an excuse for our own actions. From this day forward, know that every choice you make is yours alone. You will be held accountable for your choices. You may choose to try and control other people’s choices, but even if you are successful at first, it will never really work because they have the same right to their choices as you. And they will be held accountable for their choices, just as you are for yours.

Use your freedom of choice to set yourself free.

Choose Life.

Choose Love.

Choose Freedom.

Choose Forgiveness.

Choose to Pray.

I have made my choice. No matter what you do, what you say, what you choose. I choose to love you. I choose to forgive you. And I choose to pray for you.

Love Always,

In HIM,

Mel