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Unleashed

Unleashed

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Music affects us. Our mood, our attitude, which in turn affects our actions. It is difficult to explain. Sometimes, we don’t even see the impact. How does music affect you? Or how does your taste in music change dependent on your mood?

I would say there are two major types of musical reactions to depression. You have some people who are feeling blue and their optimism of something better drives them to listen to what I refer to as “happy music,” You know the kind–soft and dreamy like kittens, unicorns, and rainbows. Then, you have the other side of the coin–the pessimistic wallflowers. They turn on the angsty brooding music that hammers away to lyrics along the lines of “blah, blah, blah, I hate you, blah, blah blah, life sucks!”

For the record my husband falls into the former category, and I the later; but I’m glad that somewhere along the way I found another approach. I’m glad I found Skillet.

I suffered from serious bouts with depression throughout my childhood and adolescence. I often felt unwanted, unloved, untalented, undesired, uninvited. I wanted more out of life, but lost hope that more was even achievable. Getting involved with church gave me some hope, but I still regarded myself as too broken even for God. And when my church let me down, I didn’t separate the people of the church from my direct relationship with God. Because I didn’t think I could have a personal relationship with God. Even my own parents didn’t want me, how could I ever be good enough for God?

Sometimes I think back and wonder if I ever would have made it through those terrible teenage years without Skillet’s music.

The thing about Skillet’s music is that it doesn’t fit in either the happy or the misery category. Skillet’s music is empowering. It’s positive, but not in a puppies on clouds and unicorns farting rainbows kind of way–it’s real. It’s also dark, but not in the desperate bitter way, demanding others to share your sorrow–it’s real. Life is rough. Bad things happen. Hope is real. Happiness is achievable. But you have to fight. Listen to enough of Skillet’s music and it will unleash your inner warrior.

I find it only fitting that Skillet’s newest album, aptly titled “Unleashed,” has hit the market just when my husband and I needed the reminder the most. We are struggling with ongoing complications of our blended family and depression is just one uncontrolled thought away. Every day we need the reminder to refuse to sulk or to get lost in dreams of fantasy utopias, and focus on what is real and rise up to fight. Unleash the fire within. You are invincible when you trust in God and believe in yourself.

I’ve one read Skillet creator and front man, John Cooper, describe music this way, “Music expresses something I could never say with words. Music helps me remember how to FEEL. Music is power. Music heals. Music breaks chains. Ends depression. Stops addiction. Drives out demons. God gave us the ability to create music so mankind can better glorify Him.”

Like every album Skillet has produced, I could listen to “Unleashed” on repeat non-stop. Constantly being enlightened and encouraged. I was introduced to Skillet by one of those 99 cent “New Deal-e-o” CDs and have never looked back. (If you don’t know what that is, you’ve either never been in a Christian book store… or you know, I’m just getting old…) Right now the track “Lions” is really speaking to my situation, so let me close by sharing the lyrics with you.

Lions
By Skillet

Today we live, today we breathe
Today we know that we are strong when we are weak
Today we trust, we overcome
Take every chain that kept us slaves and throw em’ off
We’re not waiting for permission
We defy our inhibition
Like our middle name is “fearless”
Unafraid

If we’re gonna fly, we fly like eagles
Arms out wide
If we’re gonna fear, we fear no evil
We will rise
By your power, we will go
By your spirit, we are bold
If we’re gonna stand, we stand as giants
If we’re gonna walk, we walk as lions
We walk as lions

Today is ours, it’s always been
Before we face the fight
We know who’s gonna win
We live by faith and not by sight
We don’t want safe and quiet
We don’t wanna run and hide
This is not an intermission
It’s our time, not gonna miss it
You’ve already called us fearless
Unafraid

If we’re gonna fly, we fly like eagles
Arms out wide
If we’re gonna fear, we fear no evil
We will rise
By your power, we will go
By your spirit, we are bold
If we’re gonna stand, we stand as giants
If we’re gonna walk, we walk as lions
We walk as lions

Oh, everywhere we go
The battle has been won
We know you’ve gone before us
So, we take it hard in faith
With every step we take
We know we’ll rise victorious

If we’re gonna fly, we fly like eagles
Arms out wide
If we’re gonna fear, we fear no evil
We will rise
By your power, we will go
By your spirit, we are bold
If we’re gonna stand, we stand as giants
If we’re gonna walk, we walk as lions
We walk as lions

The thing about Loneliness is…

The thing about Loneliness is…

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On Saturday mornings my husband and I attend a prayer service at our church where 45 minutes is dedicated to praying over the prayer requests of the congregation. Those little 2×3 cards can really put things into perspective–death, job loss, addiction, severed relationships, the list goes on and on. You may be struggling in your own life; but you are not alone. Reading those cards reminds you of that–you are not alone.

Many times I pick up cards that I can personally relate to. It might be a coincidence, but I don’t believe much in coincidence. It is a divine intervention that keeps me grounded and reminds me that I am not alone. And sometimes, it reminds me of where I’ve been and what I’ve already overcome.

Today was one of those days. One of the cards I had picked up just had one word sprawled across it, the letters so large they spanned several lines.

Loneliness

It felt like a kick to the gut. I wanted to find that person and reach out to them, tell them that they are not alone. How could you feel alone, you come to a church with hundreds of members? Many of whom are facing similar struggles. Connect with someone and you won’t have to weather the storm alone.

My conversation with God went something like…

“This church is so large. How could anyone feel alone here? There are so many people to share with, to cry with, to connect with–to weather the storm with. No one has to struggle alone. How can you let this person feel so alone? So, outside the lines they didn’t put their name or any details of what they are going through. There are so many people who want to help. Connect them with someone who is sympathetic to their struggles. Help them to build stronger relationships with their church, friends, and family members. They don’t need to feel lonely anymore. They are not alone. There are so many people…”

“Are you done yet?”

“Wait. What?”

“Don’t you remember what it felt like?”

Ooft. Boy do I ever.

I spent the majority of my life being depressed. Most of which I blamed on my parents for getting divorced and making my childhood a never ending roller-coaster of emotions. As I grew older, the net expanded to include classmates, “so called” friends, extended family, church members–anyone who upset me or excluded me from something. I didn’t feel like I could trust anyone. ANYONE. All these people were throwing rocks at me, and I was picking them up and building a massive wall around my heart. I hated people. People hurt you. I just wanted them all to leave me alone.

Oh.

When I was lost in the depths of loneliness, people did try to help me. But I didn’t let them. Funny thing about those rocks… when your friends see that you are building something and they want to help they go foraging for materials.  They see you need more rocks, so they throw you some. Your friends start throwing rocks to you. Not at you to you.

The thing about loneliness is that it can’t simply be solved by more social interaction with people. Loneliness is an internal struggle. A struggle that has to be won by the heart and mind of the one who created it. You have to learn to change your view of the people around you, by first learning to change your view of yourself.

And start building a castle instead of a wall. Castles are cooler and you can invite your friends inside, so no one else feels excluded.

P.S. There are always going to be those people who do throw rocks at you. Best not to let yourself be bothered by it. Thank them for the building material. Chances are one day they are going to regret that they gave away everything they had in anger, leaving them with nothing; while you’ve built an awesome castle.